Read the following like the "Night before Christmas"
Twas the night before LHC start up , the tension was king
Not a proton was stirring, none flying around the ring
The magnets were placed in the ring with care
In hopes that the physicists soon would be there
The technicians were awake, not cozy in bed
While visions of Higgs particles danced in their heads
Joanna in her lab coat and mine in my lap
Were taking a respite from checking a magnets correct gap
...
It ran a few for a few days, when a magnet gave out
I sprang from my computer screen and gave an angry shout
Away to the ring, I went in a scurry
Checked all the monitors and shut it all down in a hurry
The hum gave way to a silence all around
Gave way to a chatter of what had been found
When what a thought to my wondering mind should appear
A "squelch" in the system brought all the fear
More rapid than eagles we all got to work
To test various theories it was acting like a jerk
Oh crap, oh damn, sh_t and f_ck
We need to get to work and hope for some luck
To the top of the ring, the top of the magnet
We scampered and checked every little gadget
As theories for a new particle fly
The physicists were throwing their hands in the sky
So to the white boards and computers they went on their way
Hours and hours of computations they spent, their moods not gay
As I punched the enter key and looked at my screen
Up popped the reason we all had not seen
It was all right there, clear as day
I knew it could be fixed, we'd figure a way
The others who had worked hard, looked over my back
as the director verified I wasn't a quack
His eyes -- how they twinkled! his smile quite merry!
His cheeks were getting rosy and his nose like a cherry
His pleasant smile took up his whole face
and he stroked his goatee with a measured pace
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth
as he looked at my result and checked piece after piece
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook, when he typed like a bowlful of jelly
He was smart and keen, a right jolly old director
I laughed when I saw him, look at my answer
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
checked all my calculations; then turned with a jerk
And laying his down glasses and pinching his nose,
he pushed back his chair and slowly arose.
He sprang to his computer, and emailed our calculated guesses
that the failure was caused by internal mechanical stresses
But I heard him exclaim, as the last email was out of sight,
we'll be back on-line soon, so have a good-night.
"Always make new mistakes"
Stuff for me and anybody
